Chapters 1-3
Chapter 1
“The books aren’t going to be put away by themselves, Miss Eich!” What a bitch.
I picked up the stupid dictionary and shoved it in the stupid shelf. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What was I doing here, anyway? I was supposed to be with Josie, sitting with Aaron at the football game. But no. I was putting books after books on the stupid shelf and being paid nothing. Community service really did suck as much as my brother told me. But it didn’t really matter, because at least I got some reading done.
“Miss Eich!” She picked up the dictionary. “Please, pay attention. I told you – you put the book in wrong. The spine is to go to you, not the shelf.” I knew that.
“Well, I’m sorry,” I replied, forcing a smile. “I’m missing our homecoming game on a Friday evening. I’m very depressed.”
She laughed. “Well, now, you get your carts done and you may go.”
“Really? Nothing else?”
“Oh, yes. You also need to sign in the brought-back books. Any questions?”
I forced that same, damn smile. “Nope. None at all.”
~*~
You know how you’re so anxious to see something that your main goal is to just get your crap over with so you can go?
I was in such a rush I was charging over to get my last cart. And suddenly – I could care less about the stupid sign in stuff. Josie promised me she’d save me a seat. But you never know Aaron – he’d probably use the whole row for his basketball buddies.
I placed Eclipse on the shelf, trying and trying to hurry up. If I did it right and it at least looked presentable, I could get to the sign outs. And once I’m done with that – I get to run across the street to the school.
I placed an Encyclopedia on the shelf. From the corner of my eye, I could spot him. He was also placing a book on the shelf. I stood up, he stood up. I took a book, he took a book from his imaginary cart. I was getting really embarrassed and annoyed.
“I find it very funny you’re not saying anything.”
I whirled around to meet his gaze on me. He was more cute then I expected. Thick, brown hair messily placed in every direction. You could see his abs through his skin-tight grey Nirvana t-shirt. His black jeans were quite baggy, but not too baggy like Will Smith’s in Fresh Prince of Bel-air. His eyes were green, and they were smiling at me. At me.
“Funny?” I asked, trying desperately not to stare at his abs any longer. I stared back at his eyes, clutching the book in my hand.
“I’ve only been doing it for like, five minutes.” My face burned red.
“Well, I’m not that observant.”
“Obviously.” I turned back to the shelves, trying to ignore him. But he started mimicking me again.
“What do you want? The porn is in the next aisle,” I said. I was feeling quite proud of myself until he had to speak.
“Yeah, and the game is across the street.” He raised his eyebrows. “You not going or something?”
“Yes, of course I’m going! Who wouldn’t?”
“Obviously, since you’re stopping to actually talk to me instead of ignoring me.”
“I guess you’re just not that easy to ignore.”
“Obviously.” I was starting to dislike him and his word very much.
I turned around, trying to prove to him I could ignore his dumbness. But my eyes still saw that Nirvana shirt, and I still saw his eyes on my ketchup face. I really wanted him to stop. He had that same attitude as my ex-boyfriend, Logan. Mr. I’m-Older-And-Wiser-And-Obviously-Smarter-Than-You. His face was a complete smile now, and I could literally feel the radiation of the heat go off my skin as I tried to hold back a smile too. It wasn’t working, because as I set the last book to the shelf, he made a reow noise, and I couldn’t help it. The sun shone from the clouds, and I burst.
“Stop,” I moaned. “I don’t even know you.”
“I don’t know you and I’m not complaining,” he replied. He gave me a crooked grin and snatched the book away from my hands. “Wuthering Heights. Not as bad as Romeo & Juliet. It’s just really annoying.”
“Annoying?”
“Yup.” He placed it on the shelf, then turned back to me. “I suppose you’re just dying to see your famous football players win.”
I shrugged. “No, not really. I just want to go because my friends are there. And my parents aren’t.” He laughed. An actual laugh, too. Not just some random chuckle. He had a nice laugh.
“My parents don’t approve of me having a life.” His voice wasn’t the same goofy-teasing-friendly voice. “You’re parents are like that too?”
I shrugged, still staring at him. “They let me have a life, but not very exciting. No booze, no smoking, no sex…it’s quite aggravating.” I realized what I just said and I covered my mouth, staring wide-eyed at him.
He looked at me funny, but then laughed. “Wow…a span of twelve minutes and you’re already telling me about your sex life. How awkward.” I removed my hand from my mouth as his gaze shifted to the windows. I looked out too. The three-story high school building over-towered the rest of the school’s campus. It wasn’t necessarily a boarding school, but the people who lived about 20 miles away and further could live there if they really desired to. I lived about three blocks away from the library, so there wasn’t really a choice of my schooling.
“Miss Eich.” I whirled around to see Mrs. Fredrick again, her glasses still perked on her beak nose. “If you want to get to that game of yours, I suggest you put it in gear.”
I really wanted to say I didn’t have a dumb stick in our car, but I kept my mouth shut. I looked over beside me as whatever-his-name-is leafed through a book about Abe. His green eyes pretended to search through the pages. One she fluttered away, we burst into nervous laughter as we made our way to the outbox.
*~*
I couldn’t find Aaron’s tall frame or Josie’s short frame anywhere, but when I did find them, I tumbled to the spot beside Jo.
“Sorry I’m super late,” I yelled over the crowd. “Stupid Fredrick kept me working like a dog.”
“You sure about that, Eich?” Aaron leaned over Josie to look at me straight in the eye…and so I could hear him.
“Yeah, why?”
“I saw that dude walking beside you when I was at the concession stand. Who is he?”
Josie squealed. “Oh my God, Zee! Who is he?”
I rolled my eyes. “Just some guy I met at the library. He’s fun.”
“He’s fun?” Aaron raised an eyebrow. Sometimes I wonder if he really is as straight as he says he is.
“Yeah. He’s funny, sweet…yeah.” I stared at them both.
“Zee, come, on.” Josie squeezed my elbow. “Did you at least get a name?”
I had to wait until everyone stopped cheering from the goal. “Damon.”
“What kind of personality does he have?”
I stared at her. “I don’t know! We talked for maybe half an hour. That’s it.”
“Did he give you his number?”
“Even if he did, Aaron, I’m not giving it to you.” They were bugging me, and I knew they wouldn’t stop.
“Zee, tell us!” Josie whined.
I groaned. “Fine. He’s got a smartass attitude, he says obviously a lot, he’s funny, he makes the library fun. There, are you happy now?”
Josie just smiled at me, winked, and turned her attention back to the touchdown.
CHAPTER 2
I didn’t know what to expect at the library. Would he even be there? He might not even remember me. I mean...we seemed to be some type of friends. But are we really? I’ve only known him for a day. And I can’t stop thinking about him.
As I walked through the heat to the library the next day, I couldn’t help but wonder how I would act around him. It’s usually impossible for me to not blush around anybody. I even blush when Aaron pinches me on my arm and Josie slaps him. Well, not him – just his hand. Oh no, she couldn’t touch his precious body like that.
“What’s his name again?” Josie asked as we rounded the second block.
I groaned. “Why is it so hard for you? It’s Damon. Only Damon. Nothing else. Just Damon. It’s not like we hid in the closet together or anything.” She giggled her awww-that’s-so-cute giggle. Annoying, much? “Anyway…I don’t care if I do see him or not. He’s just some really hot guy who happened to be fun and at the library.”
“He’s probably a stalker,” Aaron announced, grabbing for Jo’s swinging hand. I sneered and looked away. It was gross when they held hands – it was just disturbing when they kissed before your eyes. Ew.
“He is not!” I protested. “He didn’t even ask my name. I had to tell him.”
“So? He’ll ask today,” he replied, shrugging. I was getting really pissed at them.
We walked in silence the rest of the way, and when we got there, they followed me in. I just rolled my eyes and went straight to the desk. The whole library is freaking huge. The recourses, history, and porn books are in the back. The teen and children fiction are right in front of them. The really, really, really small picture books are right beside the desk. The other side of the library holds the adult fiction and non-fictions. I was to remember all of that. The walls were colored a faded yellow color that actually looks really pretty in the sunlight. The floor was really boring grey hard carpet, but the walls were nice at least.
“Ah, Ms. Eich.” Mrs. Fredrick stopped scribbling, looking up at me over her glasses. “You brought friends. Again.”
I put my hands up in defense. “No, no, um…well, the man yesterday wasn’t a friend, you see. It was…a new friend I made just then.” It really was the truth all scrambled up so I said it as a lie.
She stared at the two who were probably giggling at eachother, then back at me. She looked behind me. “Let me help the one behind you first.” Bitch, I tell you!
I shoved the two to the right. The man walked up in front of us. He was tall. Not very tall, but tall enough that I couldn’t see Fredrick anymore. He set down his notebook and showed her his book.
“See, right there. It says, ‘The War of 1812 was fought in 1218.’ You totally messed up there.”
“Mr. Slade, I did not mess up. It says ‘1812’.”
He groaned. “It does freaking so!”
She took off her glasses. “Perhaps ask your little friend here, then.”
He turned around and stopped short. It was Damon, of all people. His eyebrows raised, a smile growing on his mouth. “Hey.”
I will not blush, I will not blush! I chanted in my head. “Hi.” It came out a squeak.
Well, I was excited to see him. “Sup,” Aaron said, his arms crossing over his chest. I rolled my eyes.
“Why hello there,” Josie said, looking him up and down. I wanted to be a shadow just then.
“Hi,” He said, glancing at each one of them. I was blushing. Of all the things I could’ve been doing, I was blushing. I could’ve been kissing him. I could’ve been walking away. I could’ve been introducing them to him – but I was too busy blushing. Fuck my life.
“Um, yeah. This is Josie, that’s…that’s Aaron.” I bit my lip, staring at him. I noticed Josie was staring at him too. You couldn’t see his abs (thank God for that – I hated trying my best not to look at them). He had on a blue plaid button up with a white t-shirt under it, so you couldn’t see those abs.
“Cool.” That’s all I would’ve said, too. He then turned the paper he had in his hands so I could see it. “Does that say 1218 or 1812 to you?”
I laughed, staring at it. The twelve looked like a twelve. The eighteen looked like an eighteen – but they were switched. I nodded. “1218.”
He whirled around, slamming the paper down on her desk. “Basoom!” I giggled. Fredrick looked it over one more time, and turned her back on us. I knew who I wouldn’t be going to for help.
After the two went, I grabbed a cart, getting glances from Fredrick as I steered it to the children’s books. I picked up Lady and the Tramp, a new version apparently. I mean, wasn’t that just a movie? Why do they have to put it in new versions for two year olds? Is that even necessary?
Damon started to shove books into random shelves. I stopped on a history book that was lying in totally the wrong section. It was really worn out. The spine felt like it was literally broken beneath my fingers. I flipped through it, scanning the pages as the flew by my face. I talked on and on about the Roanoke colony – how they disappeared, why they disappeared. I studied one word then – over, and over, and over again. It was a shock to me.
“You alright there?” he asked.
I nodded, closing the book and blinking. He was staring at me. I met his eyes. “I’m fine.” I forced that same smile I did the other day.
“Liar.”
I raised my eyes, chucking the book to the table beside us. “I’m a liar?”
He looked over at me, chuckling. “Obviously.” Him and that word. It could’ve been a hobby to count how many times he said that in an hour.
I sighed. We put the rest of the pile away silently until he pulled out his iPod. He offered me an ear. I hesitated. Damon’s music selection…I couldn’t think of the right genre. I preferred pop, rock, indie rock mostly.
“What-”
“Shut up and just listen to it.” He had a teasing grin on his face, but I took it anyway. When he pressed play, all I heard was loud, angry music and that buzzed my head with sudden angry emotion. I ripped it out of my ear, taking a couple steps back.
“What the hell is that crap?” I said, rubbing my ear.
He just laughed. “Screamo, metal…whichever one you prefer.” He was still grinning at me.
“What…what’s the point in that music?” I asked, trying to move my jaw so my ear felt normal again.
“I don’t know. I don’t understand how people like it, or how people hate it. Anger management people might like it.”
“Yeah, when they just assassinated their fucking world or something.” I gazed up at him again. He was mouthing something, and when I turned around, I noticed Fredrick was glaring at the both of us. Well, well.
I turned back around. He had both of the earbuds glued to his ears. I cringed. He laughed. “You know what, maybe I’ll just make you enjoy screamo music. Know it?”
I shook my head. “Nothing will help me. You can count on it.”
“Try it sometime,” he encouraged. “Try Brokencyde. Their a good band.”
“What was the shit you just deafened me with?”
“Slipknot.”
“Aaron likes them. Again, I cannot see why.”
“Why do ladies like you enjoy Miley Cyrus?”
I raised my eyebrows, playfully slapping his shoulder. “How old are you?”
“Apparently older than you.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Obviously.” I realized something then. He knew it annoyed the hell out of me when he said that. Bastard.
“No, really. How old?”
He sighed, sliding the book into the shelf. “Seventeen. Eighteen this Sunday.”
I cocked my head. “You look older than seventeen.”
“And you look younger than twelve.” I kicked his leg, which made him drop the book on his other foot, which made me yelp with laughter, which made Fredrick stand up on her brown old lady sandals. I covered my mouth, erupting with laughter. He was also laughing, and wow – I couldn’t believe how it made me feel to see him laughing.
*~*
When I got home that night from Josie’s, I walked into the living room, plopping down on the couch beside my shirtless older brother, Holden.
“Why is it you think every day is going to be the worst, but when your actually live it, it seems like it’s just the perfect day?”
He stopped his little soldier on the TV, the pause sign showing, then fading. He looked at me. “What happened?”
I shrugged. “Nothing. It’s just…I didn’t think libraries could be so much fun.”
He laughed. “Is it that Darien guy?” I stared at him. “The one that Aaron told me about?”
I groaned. “What the hell?! Why is it a big deal that I met a guy named Damon at a library, who is really hot, funny, but definitely not someone who I want to date! Why is that so hard?!”
His face suddenly became serious. “You do remember how you were when Terrence died, right?”
I swallowed. Terrence was the last thing I wanted to think about. I just had a good day – but of course, Terrence had to come up. He had been the boyfriend after Logan – my life. We did everything together. It was only last year. After his leukemia won, I was depressed for four months. Not even Josie could get me out of my room.
It was then that made me realize.
People want me to get a boyfriend. They want me to move on. They want me to get over Terrence – to try to run away from the past.
But not even my new buddy could take the pain that still stuck in that cage since that day.
Chapter 3
The next day, as I walked alone to school, I could sense it was going to be a bad day. Just sense it. First of all, Josie was sick and wasn’t coming. Second, Aaron would be on the bus on the way to a basketball game. Third…every time Terrence’s name came up, it’d get mentioned the next day. Which means I’d feel like crap all day.
Everything was okay until I got to fourth period. That’s when the talking started.
“I’ve heard he killed someone.”
“That’s not what I heard. He freaking, like, beat up his own girlfriend.”
“Wow…what a hot, badass man.”
They were driving me insane. Who the hell were they talking about? Damon said he wasn’t going to this school…
And then there he walked, into my study hall. He looked really hot (though I was beginning to picture him in a bathing suit, but then decided to picture him in those abs….only so I didn’t start drooling or anything) in his baggy blue shirt and really nice Levi’s. His brown hair was in that messy, drool-worthy style of his. It took me forever to figure out he was smiling at me. Staring at me. Lord.
He tapped the table. I blinked, realizing I had been staring.
“Oh, uh, hey.” I moved my folders and notebooks to the side, making space for him.
He smiled, sitting down. He placed his backpack on his lap. “What am I supposed to do here?”
I stared at him. “You’re supposed to do work. It’s called school.” He laughed at the no-joke sentence.
“No, I meant-”
“Miss Eich.” My eyes snapped to Mr. Beeber, the vice principle. “No vibration. Perhaps show Mr. Slade to his classes if you wish to chat.” I wanted desperately to just stomp on his $50 shoes, but instead I forced a smile.
“Yeah…okay.” I shoved my stuff in my bag. He stood up also, following me out of the library.
When I stopped, he ran right into me, making us both topple backwards. He caught his balance – but, just like me, I fell flat on my butt. Without even gesturing, he took my hand, making me fly up to my legs. I was really, really, really embarrassed and flat-out pissed off. My notebooks were scattered.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” He said as he helped collect my belongings.
“It’s alright,” I replied. I was still really shaky and…oh, shit, what’s the word? Shaky and…whatever.
“I thought you weren’t coming here?” I said as we made our way down the hall.
“Weren’t. I wasn’t, but the other school lacked color. Obviously, I chose this.” I raised my eyebrows. I met his gaze on me – his teasing stare whenever he said that. I bit my lip and looked away.
“Aaron’s not too fond of you.”
“Obviously.”
“He thinks you’re a stalker. I’ve told him you’re not, so if you want friends here, you might want to get that straight. Aaron’s an all-star, so he knows the world.”
He nodded. We walked in silence. We weren’t actually going to classes – we were just roaming around, talking about the people in the school, introducing him to them verbally.
We ran into Aaron, who was on the way to an out-of-school game. Lucky bum.
“Hey!” Aaron suddenly stopped, staring at Damon. “Hey.”
“You two have met. Awesome.” The feeling in my stomach hurt.
“We sure did.” Damon smiled his ador- just crooked smile.
Aaron’s eyebrows raised. I knew that gesture. I rolled my eyes. “Aaron, he’s not going to fucking get all over you or anything. He’s normal. Fine.”
“Yeah, and Logan was?”
My calm mood rose. “Shut up.”
“I’m just saying, Zee! You don’t know people anymore!”
“Logan is…he’s gone, alright? I don’t like talking about him.” I bit my lip. I really did hate talking about Logan and Terrence both. They both ruined me. Logan purposely ruining me. The little stalker.
“Shit, I gotta go.” He stared at Damon for a moment, then looked at me. “See you at the game?”
I groaned. “Fuck no. I got piles to do tonight.” I looked over at Damon, who met my eyes and smiled back.
Aaron raised his eyebrows. Again. “Alrighty, well, okay…catch you later.” He gave one last glance at Damon, the paced by us.
I turned to Damon. “Feel the love yet?”
He stared past me, his eyes narrowed. Then he looked at me, smiling. “Yup. Very much.”
*~*
I only had study hall, art, and pre-calculus with Damon. He was amazing at art and pre-calculus, which made him ever hot-
As I walked home, I couldn’t think of another reason why I couldn’t like Damon. I mean…obviously I liked him a tad, right? I mean, we were like, best friends in the span of three days. What’s that actually mean?
I’m not saying he’s my soul mate or anything. I’m just saying…well, thinking, but whatever…what if. I normally hated thinking about what ifs, but today…it wasn’t so horrible. I liked that.
What I’m saying is…
Let’s just hope he’s not a heartless bastard or anything.
*~*
I squeezed my eyes shut. Everything was running through my head…thoughts, memories…
What could I remember? Oh, yeah, that’s right. Nothing. I couldn’t remember anything. Bits and pieces, that’s all. The fact my life had trailed that way…it was rather depressing. For me, at least. To most people they’d jump at the chance.
But I have no fucking clue what that chance is. It could be anything. What was happening to me wasn’t just anything, it was everything.
And Zaylie seemed the only one that could help me.
Aaron seemed like he disliked my existence.
Josie seems the type that would like, jump on people. And I really hated that in a person.
How the hell could this happen? What the hell did I do? What the hell happened?!
The stupid headache that’d been aching since I came back was always there. If I was with Zaylie, it was still there. If I was sleeping in a hot tub it’d still be there to go off. It was like an alarm in my head. Beep. Buzz. Beep. Buzz. Beep. Buzz. My life sucked, and I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t turn it around.
The fact that the bits and pieces I did remember were fucking scary. They were all dark colors with dark, scary sounds. Thunder. Strike of lightning, then black.
I couldn’t understand any of it.
But the mention of Logan…I don’t know, but I really knew the name Logan wouldn’t stop teasing my mind. Stabbing at it even more.
God, what ever happened to Ibuprofen that actually worked?!
“The books aren’t going to be put away by themselves, Miss Eich!” What a bitch.
I picked up the stupid dictionary and shoved it in the stupid shelf. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What was I doing here, anyway? I was supposed to be with Josie, sitting with Aaron at the football game. But no. I was putting books after books on the stupid shelf and being paid nothing. Community service really did suck as much as my brother told me. But it didn’t really matter, because at least I got some reading done.
“Miss Eich!” She picked up the dictionary. “Please, pay attention. I told you – you put the book in wrong. The spine is to go to you, not the shelf.” I knew that.
“Well, I’m sorry,” I replied, forcing a smile. “I’m missing our homecoming game on a Friday evening. I’m very depressed.”
She laughed. “Well, now, you get your carts done and you may go.”
“Really? Nothing else?”
“Oh, yes. You also need to sign in the brought-back books. Any questions?”
I forced that same, damn smile. “Nope. None at all.”
~*~
You know how you’re so anxious to see something that your main goal is to just get your crap over with so you can go?
I was in such a rush I was charging over to get my last cart. And suddenly – I could care less about the stupid sign in stuff. Josie promised me she’d save me a seat. But you never know Aaron – he’d probably use the whole row for his basketball buddies.
I placed Eclipse on the shelf, trying and trying to hurry up. If I did it right and it at least looked presentable, I could get to the sign outs. And once I’m done with that – I get to run across the street to the school.
I placed an Encyclopedia on the shelf. From the corner of my eye, I could spot him. He was also placing a book on the shelf. I stood up, he stood up. I took a book, he took a book from his imaginary cart. I was getting really embarrassed and annoyed.
“I find it very funny you’re not saying anything.”
I whirled around to meet his gaze on me. He was more cute then I expected. Thick, brown hair messily placed in every direction. You could see his abs through his skin-tight grey Nirvana t-shirt. His black jeans were quite baggy, but not too baggy like Will Smith’s in Fresh Prince of Bel-air. His eyes were green, and they were smiling at me. At me.
“Funny?” I asked, trying desperately not to stare at his abs any longer. I stared back at his eyes, clutching the book in my hand.
“I’ve only been doing it for like, five minutes.” My face burned red.
“Well, I’m not that observant.”
“Obviously.” I turned back to the shelves, trying to ignore him. But he started mimicking me again.
“What do you want? The porn is in the next aisle,” I said. I was feeling quite proud of myself until he had to speak.
“Yeah, and the game is across the street.” He raised his eyebrows. “You not going or something?”
“Yes, of course I’m going! Who wouldn’t?”
“Obviously, since you’re stopping to actually talk to me instead of ignoring me.”
“I guess you’re just not that easy to ignore.”
“Obviously.” I was starting to dislike him and his word very much.
I turned around, trying to prove to him I could ignore his dumbness. But my eyes still saw that Nirvana shirt, and I still saw his eyes on my ketchup face. I really wanted him to stop. He had that same attitude as my ex-boyfriend, Logan. Mr. I’m-Older-And-Wiser-And-Obviously-Smarter-Than-You. His face was a complete smile now, and I could literally feel the radiation of the heat go off my skin as I tried to hold back a smile too. It wasn’t working, because as I set the last book to the shelf, he made a reow noise, and I couldn’t help it. The sun shone from the clouds, and I burst.
“Stop,” I moaned. “I don’t even know you.”
“I don’t know you and I’m not complaining,” he replied. He gave me a crooked grin and snatched the book away from my hands. “Wuthering Heights. Not as bad as Romeo & Juliet. It’s just really annoying.”
“Annoying?”
“Yup.” He placed it on the shelf, then turned back to me. “I suppose you’re just dying to see your famous football players win.”
I shrugged. “No, not really. I just want to go because my friends are there. And my parents aren’t.” He laughed. An actual laugh, too. Not just some random chuckle. He had a nice laugh.
“My parents don’t approve of me having a life.” His voice wasn’t the same goofy-teasing-friendly voice. “You’re parents are like that too?”
I shrugged, still staring at him. “They let me have a life, but not very exciting. No booze, no smoking, no sex…it’s quite aggravating.” I realized what I just said and I covered my mouth, staring wide-eyed at him.
He looked at me funny, but then laughed. “Wow…a span of twelve minutes and you’re already telling me about your sex life. How awkward.” I removed my hand from my mouth as his gaze shifted to the windows. I looked out too. The three-story high school building over-towered the rest of the school’s campus. It wasn’t necessarily a boarding school, but the people who lived about 20 miles away and further could live there if they really desired to. I lived about three blocks away from the library, so there wasn’t really a choice of my schooling.
“Miss Eich.” I whirled around to see Mrs. Fredrick again, her glasses still perked on her beak nose. “If you want to get to that game of yours, I suggest you put it in gear.”
I really wanted to say I didn’t have a dumb stick in our car, but I kept my mouth shut. I looked over beside me as whatever-his-name-is leafed through a book about Abe. His green eyes pretended to search through the pages. One she fluttered away, we burst into nervous laughter as we made our way to the outbox.
*~*
I couldn’t find Aaron’s tall frame or Josie’s short frame anywhere, but when I did find them, I tumbled to the spot beside Jo.
“Sorry I’m super late,” I yelled over the crowd. “Stupid Fredrick kept me working like a dog.”
“You sure about that, Eich?” Aaron leaned over Josie to look at me straight in the eye…and so I could hear him.
“Yeah, why?”
“I saw that dude walking beside you when I was at the concession stand. Who is he?”
Josie squealed. “Oh my God, Zee! Who is he?”
I rolled my eyes. “Just some guy I met at the library. He’s fun.”
“He’s fun?” Aaron raised an eyebrow. Sometimes I wonder if he really is as straight as he says he is.
“Yeah. He’s funny, sweet…yeah.” I stared at them both.
“Zee, come, on.” Josie squeezed my elbow. “Did you at least get a name?”
I had to wait until everyone stopped cheering from the goal. “Damon.”
“What kind of personality does he have?”
I stared at her. “I don’t know! We talked for maybe half an hour. That’s it.”
“Did he give you his number?”
“Even if he did, Aaron, I’m not giving it to you.” They were bugging me, and I knew they wouldn’t stop.
“Zee, tell us!” Josie whined.
I groaned. “Fine. He’s got a smartass attitude, he says obviously a lot, he’s funny, he makes the library fun. There, are you happy now?”
Josie just smiled at me, winked, and turned her attention back to the touchdown.
CHAPTER 2
I didn’t know what to expect at the library. Would he even be there? He might not even remember me. I mean...we seemed to be some type of friends. But are we really? I’ve only known him for a day. And I can’t stop thinking about him.
As I walked through the heat to the library the next day, I couldn’t help but wonder how I would act around him. It’s usually impossible for me to not blush around anybody. I even blush when Aaron pinches me on my arm and Josie slaps him. Well, not him – just his hand. Oh no, she couldn’t touch his precious body like that.
“What’s his name again?” Josie asked as we rounded the second block.
I groaned. “Why is it so hard for you? It’s Damon. Only Damon. Nothing else. Just Damon. It’s not like we hid in the closet together or anything.” She giggled her awww-that’s-so-cute giggle. Annoying, much? “Anyway…I don’t care if I do see him or not. He’s just some really hot guy who happened to be fun and at the library.”
“He’s probably a stalker,” Aaron announced, grabbing for Jo’s swinging hand. I sneered and looked away. It was gross when they held hands – it was just disturbing when they kissed before your eyes. Ew.
“He is not!” I protested. “He didn’t even ask my name. I had to tell him.”
“So? He’ll ask today,” he replied, shrugging. I was getting really pissed at them.
We walked in silence the rest of the way, and when we got there, they followed me in. I just rolled my eyes and went straight to the desk. The whole library is freaking huge. The recourses, history, and porn books are in the back. The teen and children fiction are right in front of them. The really, really, really small picture books are right beside the desk. The other side of the library holds the adult fiction and non-fictions. I was to remember all of that. The walls were colored a faded yellow color that actually looks really pretty in the sunlight. The floor was really boring grey hard carpet, but the walls were nice at least.
“Ah, Ms. Eich.” Mrs. Fredrick stopped scribbling, looking up at me over her glasses. “You brought friends. Again.”
I put my hands up in defense. “No, no, um…well, the man yesterday wasn’t a friend, you see. It was…a new friend I made just then.” It really was the truth all scrambled up so I said it as a lie.
She stared at the two who were probably giggling at eachother, then back at me. She looked behind me. “Let me help the one behind you first.” Bitch, I tell you!
I shoved the two to the right. The man walked up in front of us. He was tall. Not very tall, but tall enough that I couldn’t see Fredrick anymore. He set down his notebook and showed her his book.
“See, right there. It says, ‘The War of 1812 was fought in 1218.’ You totally messed up there.”
“Mr. Slade, I did not mess up. It says ‘1812’.”
He groaned. “It does freaking so!”
She took off her glasses. “Perhaps ask your little friend here, then.”
He turned around and stopped short. It was Damon, of all people. His eyebrows raised, a smile growing on his mouth. “Hey.”
I will not blush, I will not blush! I chanted in my head. “Hi.” It came out a squeak.
Well, I was excited to see him. “Sup,” Aaron said, his arms crossing over his chest. I rolled my eyes.
“Why hello there,” Josie said, looking him up and down. I wanted to be a shadow just then.
“Hi,” He said, glancing at each one of them. I was blushing. Of all the things I could’ve been doing, I was blushing. I could’ve been kissing him. I could’ve been walking away. I could’ve been introducing them to him – but I was too busy blushing. Fuck my life.
“Um, yeah. This is Josie, that’s…that’s Aaron.” I bit my lip, staring at him. I noticed Josie was staring at him too. You couldn’t see his abs (thank God for that – I hated trying my best not to look at them). He had on a blue plaid button up with a white t-shirt under it, so you couldn’t see those abs.
“Cool.” That’s all I would’ve said, too. He then turned the paper he had in his hands so I could see it. “Does that say 1218 or 1812 to you?”
I laughed, staring at it. The twelve looked like a twelve. The eighteen looked like an eighteen – but they were switched. I nodded. “1218.”
He whirled around, slamming the paper down on her desk. “Basoom!” I giggled. Fredrick looked it over one more time, and turned her back on us. I knew who I wouldn’t be going to for help.
After the two went, I grabbed a cart, getting glances from Fredrick as I steered it to the children’s books. I picked up Lady and the Tramp, a new version apparently. I mean, wasn’t that just a movie? Why do they have to put it in new versions for two year olds? Is that even necessary?
Damon started to shove books into random shelves. I stopped on a history book that was lying in totally the wrong section. It was really worn out. The spine felt like it was literally broken beneath my fingers. I flipped through it, scanning the pages as the flew by my face. I talked on and on about the Roanoke colony – how they disappeared, why they disappeared. I studied one word then – over, and over, and over again. It was a shock to me.
“You alright there?” he asked.
I nodded, closing the book and blinking. He was staring at me. I met his eyes. “I’m fine.” I forced that same smile I did the other day.
“Liar.”
I raised my eyes, chucking the book to the table beside us. “I’m a liar?”
He looked over at me, chuckling. “Obviously.” Him and that word. It could’ve been a hobby to count how many times he said that in an hour.
I sighed. We put the rest of the pile away silently until he pulled out his iPod. He offered me an ear. I hesitated. Damon’s music selection…I couldn’t think of the right genre. I preferred pop, rock, indie rock mostly.
“What-”
“Shut up and just listen to it.” He had a teasing grin on his face, but I took it anyway. When he pressed play, all I heard was loud, angry music and that buzzed my head with sudden angry emotion. I ripped it out of my ear, taking a couple steps back.
“What the hell is that crap?” I said, rubbing my ear.
He just laughed. “Screamo, metal…whichever one you prefer.” He was still grinning at me.
“What…what’s the point in that music?” I asked, trying to move my jaw so my ear felt normal again.
“I don’t know. I don’t understand how people like it, or how people hate it. Anger management people might like it.”
“Yeah, when they just assassinated their fucking world or something.” I gazed up at him again. He was mouthing something, and when I turned around, I noticed Fredrick was glaring at the both of us. Well, well.
I turned back around. He had both of the earbuds glued to his ears. I cringed. He laughed. “You know what, maybe I’ll just make you enjoy screamo music. Know it?”
I shook my head. “Nothing will help me. You can count on it.”
“Try it sometime,” he encouraged. “Try Brokencyde. Their a good band.”
“What was the shit you just deafened me with?”
“Slipknot.”
“Aaron likes them. Again, I cannot see why.”
“Why do ladies like you enjoy Miley Cyrus?”
I raised my eyebrows, playfully slapping his shoulder. “How old are you?”
“Apparently older than you.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Obviously.” I realized something then. He knew it annoyed the hell out of me when he said that. Bastard.
“No, really. How old?”
He sighed, sliding the book into the shelf. “Seventeen. Eighteen this Sunday.”
I cocked my head. “You look older than seventeen.”
“And you look younger than twelve.” I kicked his leg, which made him drop the book on his other foot, which made me yelp with laughter, which made Fredrick stand up on her brown old lady sandals. I covered my mouth, erupting with laughter. He was also laughing, and wow – I couldn’t believe how it made me feel to see him laughing.
*~*
When I got home that night from Josie’s, I walked into the living room, plopping down on the couch beside my shirtless older brother, Holden.
“Why is it you think every day is going to be the worst, but when your actually live it, it seems like it’s just the perfect day?”
He stopped his little soldier on the TV, the pause sign showing, then fading. He looked at me. “What happened?”
I shrugged. “Nothing. It’s just…I didn’t think libraries could be so much fun.”
He laughed. “Is it that Darien guy?” I stared at him. “The one that Aaron told me about?”
I groaned. “What the hell?! Why is it a big deal that I met a guy named Damon at a library, who is really hot, funny, but definitely not someone who I want to date! Why is that so hard?!”
His face suddenly became serious. “You do remember how you were when Terrence died, right?”
I swallowed. Terrence was the last thing I wanted to think about. I just had a good day – but of course, Terrence had to come up. He had been the boyfriend after Logan – my life. We did everything together. It was only last year. After his leukemia won, I was depressed for four months. Not even Josie could get me out of my room.
It was then that made me realize.
People want me to get a boyfriend. They want me to move on. They want me to get over Terrence – to try to run away from the past.
But not even my new buddy could take the pain that still stuck in that cage since that day.
Chapter 3
The next day, as I walked alone to school, I could sense it was going to be a bad day. Just sense it. First of all, Josie was sick and wasn’t coming. Second, Aaron would be on the bus on the way to a basketball game. Third…every time Terrence’s name came up, it’d get mentioned the next day. Which means I’d feel like crap all day.
Everything was okay until I got to fourth period. That’s when the talking started.
“I’ve heard he killed someone.”
“That’s not what I heard. He freaking, like, beat up his own girlfriend.”
“Wow…what a hot, badass man.”
They were driving me insane. Who the hell were they talking about? Damon said he wasn’t going to this school…
And then there he walked, into my study hall. He looked really hot (though I was beginning to picture him in a bathing suit, but then decided to picture him in those abs….only so I didn’t start drooling or anything) in his baggy blue shirt and really nice Levi’s. His brown hair was in that messy, drool-worthy style of his. It took me forever to figure out he was smiling at me. Staring at me. Lord.
He tapped the table. I blinked, realizing I had been staring.
“Oh, uh, hey.” I moved my folders and notebooks to the side, making space for him.
He smiled, sitting down. He placed his backpack on his lap. “What am I supposed to do here?”
I stared at him. “You’re supposed to do work. It’s called school.” He laughed at the no-joke sentence.
“No, I meant-”
“Miss Eich.” My eyes snapped to Mr. Beeber, the vice principle. “No vibration. Perhaps show Mr. Slade to his classes if you wish to chat.” I wanted desperately to just stomp on his $50 shoes, but instead I forced a smile.
“Yeah…okay.” I shoved my stuff in my bag. He stood up also, following me out of the library.
When I stopped, he ran right into me, making us both topple backwards. He caught his balance – but, just like me, I fell flat on my butt. Without even gesturing, he took my hand, making me fly up to my legs. I was really, really, really embarrassed and flat-out pissed off. My notebooks were scattered.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” He said as he helped collect my belongings.
“It’s alright,” I replied. I was still really shaky and…oh, shit, what’s the word? Shaky and…whatever.
“I thought you weren’t coming here?” I said as we made our way down the hall.
“Weren’t. I wasn’t, but the other school lacked color. Obviously, I chose this.” I raised my eyebrows. I met his gaze on me – his teasing stare whenever he said that. I bit my lip and looked away.
“Aaron’s not too fond of you.”
“Obviously.”
“He thinks you’re a stalker. I’ve told him you’re not, so if you want friends here, you might want to get that straight. Aaron’s an all-star, so he knows the world.”
He nodded. We walked in silence. We weren’t actually going to classes – we were just roaming around, talking about the people in the school, introducing him to them verbally.
We ran into Aaron, who was on the way to an out-of-school game. Lucky bum.
“Hey!” Aaron suddenly stopped, staring at Damon. “Hey.”
“You two have met. Awesome.” The feeling in my stomach hurt.
“We sure did.” Damon smiled his ador- just crooked smile.
Aaron’s eyebrows raised. I knew that gesture. I rolled my eyes. “Aaron, he’s not going to fucking get all over you or anything. He’s normal. Fine.”
“Yeah, and Logan was?”
My calm mood rose. “Shut up.”
“I’m just saying, Zee! You don’t know people anymore!”
“Logan is…he’s gone, alright? I don’t like talking about him.” I bit my lip. I really did hate talking about Logan and Terrence both. They both ruined me. Logan purposely ruining me. The little stalker.
“Shit, I gotta go.” He stared at Damon for a moment, then looked at me. “See you at the game?”
I groaned. “Fuck no. I got piles to do tonight.” I looked over at Damon, who met my eyes and smiled back.
Aaron raised his eyebrows. Again. “Alrighty, well, okay…catch you later.” He gave one last glance at Damon, the paced by us.
I turned to Damon. “Feel the love yet?”
He stared past me, his eyes narrowed. Then he looked at me, smiling. “Yup. Very much.”
*~*
I only had study hall, art, and pre-calculus with Damon. He was amazing at art and pre-calculus, which made him ever hot-
As I walked home, I couldn’t think of another reason why I couldn’t like Damon. I mean…obviously I liked him a tad, right? I mean, we were like, best friends in the span of three days. What’s that actually mean?
I’m not saying he’s my soul mate or anything. I’m just saying…well, thinking, but whatever…what if. I normally hated thinking about what ifs, but today…it wasn’t so horrible. I liked that.
What I’m saying is…
Let’s just hope he’s not a heartless bastard or anything.
*~*
I squeezed my eyes shut. Everything was running through my head…thoughts, memories…
What could I remember? Oh, yeah, that’s right. Nothing. I couldn’t remember anything. Bits and pieces, that’s all. The fact my life had trailed that way…it was rather depressing. For me, at least. To most people they’d jump at the chance.
But I have no fucking clue what that chance is. It could be anything. What was happening to me wasn’t just anything, it was everything.
And Zaylie seemed the only one that could help me.
Aaron seemed like he disliked my existence.
Josie seems the type that would like, jump on people. And I really hated that in a person.
How the hell could this happen? What the hell did I do? What the hell happened?!
The stupid headache that’d been aching since I came back was always there. If I was with Zaylie, it was still there. If I was sleeping in a hot tub it’d still be there to go off. It was like an alarm in my head. Beep. Buzz. Beep. Buzz. Beep. Buzz. My life sucked, and I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t turn it around.
The fact that the bits and pieces I did remember were fucking scary. They were all dark colors with dark, scary sounds. Thunder. Strike of lightning, then black.
I couldn’t understand any of it.
But the mention of Logan…I don’t know, but I really knew the name Logan wouldn’t stop teasing my mind. Stabbing at it even more.
God, what ever happened to Ibuprofen that actually worked?!
